Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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