when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
