You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
