we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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