What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
