when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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