Me too!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
