Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I yelled at your uterus for you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
