this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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