I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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