Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
