No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
