apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
