for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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