so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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