white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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