Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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