How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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