did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
