man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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