Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
