You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
