So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
