That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
