His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
