we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize