i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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