I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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