i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
