Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
