Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
