That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
its liver damage thursday
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
