Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I came so hard my ears popped.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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