At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
