If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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