I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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