Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
