I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How does one acquire holy water?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
