I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
