so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
