You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
