Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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