So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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