I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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