no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
