Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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