i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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