I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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