God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
