I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
