I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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