It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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