ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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