drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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