Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
