i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize