I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize