She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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