Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
