last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
