Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
