I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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