My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
