bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
