Jerry, you need to find god
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
