Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
